Monday, August 11, 2008

Dear Ryan Mossakowski

Kentucky picked up a huge verbal commitment from QB Ryan Mossakowski this past Saturday. The 6'4" 201-pounder from Frisco, TX was plucked away from Auburn, Alabama, A&M, and Clemson. This is big for several reasons, most notably, that Papaw Brooks can recruit against the best in the business, and it solidifies the QB position for the next several years.

Dear Ryan,

We here at OverThePylon would like to congratulate you on verbaling to the Kentucky Wildcats. We're excited for you and hope you enjoy your stay in Lexington. To get you started, here's some helpful tips we pass along to you gratis for the betterment of the team, the program, and most importantly, yourself.

1.) Lexington is a fun place, and the state of Kentucky offers many fun alternatives to spend your free time. There are ample opportunities for QB1 on the depth chart to study the flora and plant life of the state, enjoy motorsports, and pursue life after football opportunities like stacking boxes at Amazon.

2.) Should your time at UK ever involve a trip to the second-team, fear not! There is also opportunities to practice your boxing and sample the local culinary fare.

3.) At 6'4" and 201-pounds, you're solid, but not quite big enough to really place yourself among the elite Kentucky QBs. I'd recommend getting down to Tally-Ho... pronto.

4.) Prepare early for media attention. After leaving the hallowed halls of UK you may become the center of attention of national news outlets.

5.) Many Kentucky QBs have honed their people skills by working with the mentally disabled. Should this interest you, please contact the football office.

6.) Your new coach is a bit of an eccentric who believes life preservers are bullshit. Just a small heads up.

Good luck!

OverThePylon

2 comments:

barry said...

I really like your site it's funny without all the recruiting nerds.

Anonymous said...

Tolly Ho.

http://www.tolly-ho.com