Humpday Quickies

It's the first postseason edition of Humpday Quickies, and it isn't even humpday anymore. This does not bode well for the future. Regardless, here's what's happening in the football universe...

Ball State Quickies

• We hope coaches Jeff Hecklinski, Darrel Funk, and Mark Smith don't let the door hit them on the ass on their way out of it. The three will join Brady Hoke in San Diego for similar positions at SDSU. So long. Funk does get the award for creepiest bio picture, as it falls somewhere between axe murderer and psychopath. Oh well, he's SDSU's psychopath now.
• Scuttlebutt is that strength and conditioning coach Aaron Wellman will also join Hoke at SDSU. There has also been no official announcement on coaches joining the fold for Stan Parrish, but rumors say we are close to an Offensive Coordinator and Defensive Coordinator. Offense? Not so important with Stan there. Defense? Exceptionally important.
• ESPN midmajor blogger Graham Watson has the Cardinals #7 in her final non-BCS power poll.
• Sean Baker? Freshman All American. Congrats, Eater-O-Souls.
• Fellow BSU blogger TheSixthBallBrother is hanging it up. Godspeed Cardinal fan... Godspeed.
  

Kentucky Quickies

• Who has two thumbs and will be on the sideline next year for Kentucky instead of the NFL? Michah Johnson, Jeremy Jarmon, and Trevard Lindley. The third more surprising than the first two. This defense is shaping up to be some ass kickers next year.
  
• A feature about Mike Hartline being hard to oust as UK's starting QB. If that's true, and our QB next year still has Hartline on his jersey I will be pissed. Tremendously, uproariously pissed.
  
• The recruiting keeps getting better as UK signs DT Mark Crawford. 6' 1" and 290 will go a long way to some penetration. (insert penetration joke here)
  
• Two Wildcats will make appearances in the Shrine Game. Congrats to Myron Pryor and Johnny Williams.
  

Everyone Else Quickies

• Sam Bradford? Coming back. Collective, "Fuck you, man" from Colt McCoy residence.
  
• O/S at EDSBS wonders what it would be like if Tebow were a Muslim.
• BlackHeartGoldPants offers some layoff advice.
• Joel at RockyTopTalk points out the power of the eye black.
• Doc Saturday on the wager for the title game between legislators.
• Lane Kiffin is a daddy. Again. Wife still hot. Son not named Asskick Jones.
• We close today with a video some of you have already seen. It is a celebratory pole dance for the Florida Gators. There really isn't anything of note, as the chick doesn't get 1.) naked 2.) off, but it's a chick on a brass pole. You stay classy, Gainesville.