Friday, April 17, 2009

Offseason Roundtable #3

In an effort to not only increase our chatter about the Cards, but to also increase some reader participation, Edge, RV, and Alan will be doing these roundtables every other week or so? Love the answers? Want to post your own thoughts? Of course you do. And you can do so in the Comments section. Because remember, dear readers, a smarmy sarcastic blog about Ball State athletics is only as good as its small yet powerful reader base. Have at it, boys and girls...

1.) The Spring game has come and gone, and not surprisingly, the offense sputtered a bit. Cause for concern? Worried yet about Page picking up the playbook?
Edge: As John Madden would say, you can't win if you don't score. Obviously, we can't rely on the defense to win every game, so yes, I'm concerned. Not so much that I'm ready to shift to Lynch-era mentality. There's still time, but offenses require some level of chemistry. These little wrinkles need to be ironed out before long, or it's going to be a rough year.

RV: No concern at all. It's the spring game, Rich Rodriguez sees his freshman QB light up his scrub defense and runs to the arms of his older brother and/or a Duke point guard. Spring games mean nothing except that the fans get to have some optimism. Wait until Saturday evening when South Bend starts planning their National Championship celebration. It's better to have the offense sputtering than the defense sputtering. There's no reason to think that the full playbook has been installed for Page, but he'll be fine by North Texas.

Alan: I would say I am guardedly optimistic that things will be fine. It was simply a spring game, and I think the defensive unit really is that good. There was no MiQuale Lewis. Briggs Orsbon was limited. So there's reasons why the offense would look less than stellar. Plus, Stan has a habit of sort of sandbagging a bit in games that don't really matter (last year vs. Northeaster, for example). I'll wait until North Texas next fall to truly hit panic mode. If, however, the North Texas and New Hampshire games are pedestrian and unexciting, then I'll reconsider making the trips to West Point and Auburn.

2.) With the recent announcement that Greg Paulus has been offered a scholarship at Michigan, who would you like to have try their hand at football that has been successful at another sport?
Edge: Kobe Bryant or Lebron James. I think they even have more than one year of eligibility left, right? Right. If we're talking about athletes that aren't already pro, it might be interesting to see Courtney Paris from Oklahoma suit up. She'd be a good defensive end. And hey, she'd probably give back her scholarship if she didn't win a bowl game. So, you know... win-win.

RV: Lets go with something that makes sense. How about Lebron? He's got full eligibility left, right? I'd like to see Pujols as a Rush DE, just because he looks like he would bust someone's body in half. I certainly wouldn't be looking for Jodie Meeks.

Alan: Yes... Kobe or Lebron. Because those ultra billionaires would take a crack at football at mighty Ball State. Hey... while we're at it, let's get Jesus. I hear he was a real bad ass at Free Safety. Ascending all over the place to intercept passes. Maybe we could get Michael Jordan to come back. Free cigars and Puerto Rican strippers for everyone! There's always the lesser known sports. Any fencers out there think they can kick? So, to recap, this is a stupid idea, and one I hope Michigan fully implements if only for the inevitable trainwreck this is going to be.

3.) Buy or sell coaches using Twitter or other social networking sites? Why?
Edge: Sell. Sell. Sell. Like it was Bad Newz Kennels stock. I'm not on board with the whole Twitter thing. I barely understand the need for Myspace or Facebook. I foresee a potential NCAA recruiting violation based on all this stuff. You hear me Kelvin? Just wait, there will be some rules about this social networking shit very soon.

RV: Buy for the fans, sell for the recruits. It's great to get unfettered access to stupid things that coaches can say, but we all know that coaches will use it for recruiting until the NCAA bans it.

Alan: The sad part about the Coaches-On-Twitter phenomenon is that it had so much potential. It was a chance for fans to really sort of see the inner workings of a major college program. It was a chance to sort of connect with people who in a large part of the country are viewed as demi-Gods for their prowess on the sidelines. Unfortunately, this was doomed from the start, though. Whether it be pawning it off on some Sports Information Director or an intern, to the inevitable misuse and abuse this will bring. It seems as though any sort of technology is abused when it first comes out and the NCAA is playing catch up in rule adjustment, so I'm sure this will be no different. I also will be curious to see how someone can cheat in 140 character bursts, but I'm sure someone in the SEC will figure out how.

4.) The Rotund One (Charlie Weis) up the road in South Bend commented this week he thought about leaving ND at the end of last season. Thoughts? Wasn't it the other way around?
Edge: I don't know about this one... the whole thing was weird when I read it. It wasn't as strange as the whole Jay Cutler/Broncos thing, but it just came off as odd. I think his explanation is kind of PR-oriented more than anything. He even made it sound like there were personal factors and that the ball was in his court as much as it was in ND's... Look, no one wants to admit their ass was on the hot seat for months without alleviating some of that pressure. Why don't we call a spade a spade - you're lucky to still be employed. Damn lucky. So go out there, man up, and win some games. I know RV is pulling for him, so I hope it all ends well.

RV: Charlie has come out and said that his intentions were twisted (obviously he's going to say that). My thoughts are that as an ND alum who is putting his blood, sweat and tears into this team, he wants as badly as anyone else for this team to be successful as their fanbase. There have been a multitude of bumps, more so than smooth rides, at this point in the Charlie Weis Experiement and he has obviously been under a huge level of scrutiny. To think that Charlie wouldn't leave the program that he so desperately wants to see succeed if he truly thinks he can't help them win is akin to not understanding the majority of Notre Dame fans. Unabashed homerism also lends to unabashed love for all things in South Bend (at least the campus) and I hope that he would leave if he couldn't take them to the next level of success. So, I think it was a thought that crossed his mind and was immediately crossed out as he saw his team become healthy and demolish an undermatched Hawaii team that had last taken a BCS team to the brink. Now, it remains to be seen if the rest of ND Nation has his confidence.

Alan: Here's the thing. If I'm not following the expectations and rules of my workplace, then I'm on the hot seat. Period. Whether it's working at JC Penny's or coaching football at Notre Dame, you know when you aren't doing what you're supposed to be doing. And Weis wasn't, because the only thing he had to do was win, and he didn't. Add into the mix that fact that from all reports he is an unmitigated self-aggrandizing typical New England asshole, and that's a recipe for a pink slip. Do I think there were very serious discussions in private and maybe not so private about buying out the rest of his contract? I absolutely do. ND boosters have the deepest pockets around, and aren't afraid to run people out of town. Do I think Charlie Weis thought about quitting? I absolutely do not. Charlie is an egomaniac and this is the one job in all of football where you are revered like no one else. Assuming you don't get beat by Syracuse. Look, Weis is a master promoter, mostly of himself, so it's not surprising that months after every major news organization was reporting you were basically fired you come out with a statement about how it was your decision all along and you were thinking about what's best for the program. Horseshit. If you wanted what was best for the program you wouldn't have lost to Syracuse. Asshole.

5.) Baseball season started over the last week or so for the major leagues. Who ya got in the World Series? Any particular reason?
Edge: I was hoping Boston, but with one of the worst records in the league, I'm starting to doubt. I really like the Braves this year for the NL. Very gritty team. I think the Marlins, if they can remain healthy, could give them a run though. On the AL side, I am not investing in the Yankees at all, despite the fact that everyone in New York is. It works out great for me being a BoSox fan anyway. Look for the Angels to turn things around, but don't count out those big teams from the east, even those young Rays. In all, I'd say the Angels have the best chance at a title, but let's all hold out for the BoSox, ok Alan?

RV: The what? Uhhh, the Braves are good, right? Wait, is it 1992? SID BREAM!!!!!

Alan: First of all, RV, baseball is big in Puerto Rico, so I'm a bit saddened by your inability to converse on the subject of your heritage's claim to fame. Second, Edge can eat a bowl-o-dicks because the Yankees are winning it all this year. Period. End of discussion. As for the Red Sox, let me break it down for you in Boston lingo and dialect that you'll understand... "YEAH BABY! I’M TAWKING ABOUT THE RED SAWX ARE COMPLETE AND UTTAH CAWKSOCKETS! NO ONE DENIES THIS!" Yankees in 6 over the Bravos.

So, what say you, dear reader?


FrankTheTank said...

1.) Page will be fine, and the offense will be kicking ass and taking names just fine, thank you.

2.) Greg Paulus sucks. But ultimately, so does Michigan. I'm sure Rich Rod and him can sit around and talk about sucking together while groping each other's fruit basket.

3.) Twitter is for the gays.

4.) Charlie Weis sucks too, but only minimally less than Rich Rod. And he would be self-diddling too if his weener wasn't an innie and he had seen it in the last half century.

5.) Cubs, bitches!!! Sweeping the Red Sox.

Anonymous said...

i just want the pirates to make it to the playoffs. that would be nice.

Edge said...

Indians put up a 14-run inning against the Yankees Saturday. I just want to make sure this doesn't go unnoticed. It was like back in tee-ball where everyone gets a turn to bat, regardless of the outs. I'm surprised they didn't stop keeping score. Back to football...