Thursday, August 28, 2008

Cardinal Preview: Northeastern; Jason Whitlock... Hungry Again

I contemplated greatly the need for a fancy preview post about tonight's season opener for Ball State against Northeastern. That comes next week, as the Cardinals have a sufficiently challenging game versus the Navy Midshipmen. Tonight's game against Northeastern is excitable because football is back in Muncie, the Cardinal offense gets a chance to build on national momentum against a much weaker opponent and the Cardinal defense gets to build needed confidence against said weaker opponent. But other than that, it's a snoozer of the highest order.

The difference in talent is noticeable and great, to the point where if Northeastern stays within 4 scores at game's end, I will be absolutely shocked. My greatest fear for this season is an epic bed-shitting against a team like Northeastern, but barring anything short of stigmata, the Cardinals roll up victory #1.

Instead, I will leave you with astute wisdom to marinate on before the game this evening. On August 15th, we pointed out Kansas City Star columnist Jason Whitlock's need for sustenance, and also his nugget about Ball State busting the BCS. Today, imagine our surprise when reading JW's latest column to find an expansion on his thoughts. Appropriately titled, "Ball State Has Arrived, Baby", Whitlock goes on to put the verbal ballwashing all over the Cards.

The blogosphere got quite the kick out of Whitlock's initial post, not only because it was completely out of left-field in the middle of an NFL column, but also because it reeked of homerism in the worst way. So bad Lou Holtz probably said, "Geez, this is a bit much" verbalized as, "Geeth, thith ith a bit much" thus losing the meaning for Jason.

Thleep Well, Thweet Prince

The article is loaded with statistical prowesses and insane facts. But it is what lies beneath that article that only the trained eye can see. What begins as insight quickly turns to venom, as basically the gist of this column is "My team rocks. Insert your team here, because they suck ass. And to all you bloggers... it's glandular. Dicks."

Whitlock ends his column by saying he won't be upset if Ball State doesn't live up to his expectations, but secretly, the scene in Kansas City after a mediocre appearance in the Insert-Second-Tier-Bowl-Sponsor-Here-Bowl-Game would be a horrible mixture of Crisco, torn up posters of Nate Davis, Dante Love, and Darius Hill and tears. The salty, freshly fallen tears of a journalist in need of a hug. And a snack.

1 comment:

nick kline said...

Jason Whitlock is to black as Alan Rucker is to white.

think about it.