Ball State redshirt sophomore safety Dane Cook (pictured right), not to be confused with the hack comic, was arrested on Saturday, not for having awful hair, but for being wasted and failing to pay for a taxi. A taxi to Beacon Hill, which unless he was coming from Indianapolis, makes no sense either since the campus bars are roughly 7 blocks away. Unfortunately being lazy beyond belief isn't a crime.
The actual offenses, while not egregious in and of themselves, essentially boil down to not paying for his ride and being an intoxicated moron. However, Delaware County and apparently the state of Indiana see the offense differently, as it is a Class D felony punishable by six months to three years in prison and a $10,000 fine, according to Indiana Code. If convicted of public intoxication, which is a Class B misdemeanor, Cook could face 180 days in jail and a $1,000 fine, according to Indiana Code.
Of course, all this simply points to more evidence that Ball State has arrived on the college football landscape. It won't be long now until players are shooting off assault rifles in apartment complexes and then winning national championships.
BSU has commented that Cook has been disciplined by Stan Parrish, but there is no word what said punishment was. In Cook's defense, and according to Ole Miss basketball coach Andy Kennedy, those cab drivers are real assholes, man.