Weekend Carnage Report

The short-week has us a bit behind schedule, but those three-day booze soaked football overdoses will do that to you. Week One has come and gone, and while there were no Game Of The Century hype wagons rolling around prior to this slate since most are being saved for USC-Ohio State, there were some interesting games on the docket. Epic bed-shittings abounded, and several teams just earned themselves a swift attaboy from OTP. Welcome home, college football. Good to have you back.

The Good:

• USC: Questions were swirling about USC traveling east, their walking wounded, was the defense truly this good, and the answers were all positive. USC looked strong to the infinitely strong power... or at least as well as one can look playing UVa. Carrol and co. look like a special ball club.
• UCLA: Staying in Los Angeles, UCLA announced that perhaps the newspaper is not always wrong. The first half Bruins and the second half Bruins looked like completely different teams, and this was more so an example of Tennessee losing as opposed to UCLA actually winning, but a W is a W, and UCLA should enjoy it while it lasts.
• Oregon and Kentucky Defenses: There are loads of stout defenses across the country, but no two units put up a more impressive debut considering their expectations than these two. The Ducks held Washington and Jake Locker to 242 total yards while the Wildcats shutout arch-rival Louisville to the tune of 205 yards, 53 through the air
  

The Bad:

• Michigan: Temperance aside, this Michigan team looks rough. It's a work in progress to be sure, but I think most people (while realistically expecting the possibility of a loss) expected to see a bit better showing from the Wolverines. At times they played with passion and excitement, but on the whole this Michigan team looked overmatched, outhustled, and flat. Against Utah who isn't a bad team, but there is no way this game should be competitive in the normal universe of college football. It's year one though, and it's a marathon to get M back to normal, not a sprint.
  
• Louisville: In the days leading up to this game, Louisville fans did what Louisville fans do. Talk exceptionally loud to no one in particular about how mighty an asswhooping they were going to lay on Kentucky. After the 27-2 game which was nowhere that close, Louisville has problems. Mighty, numerous, significant problems.
  
• Texas A&M: This is not a good way for the Mike Sherman era to begin in College Station. When Big 12 play begins wins for these Aggies may be few and far between, so winning the games you should becomes quite important. And Arkansas State is a definite "should win" for A&M.
  
• Tennessee: UT certainly lands in the bad category, and they're close to the ugly side of the scale. At the end of the season, this loss won't nearly look as bad, as UCLA is severely undervalued. All things considered, the playcalling was suspect, the execution fairly sloppy, and the Vols still came within a missed fieldgoal of forcing overtime number two.
  

The Ugly:

• Clemson: The good news for Tigers fans is that when they shit the bed early, they come on strong. Either Bama is real fantastic or Clemson is remarkably overrated, or possibly a nice mixture of the two. Either way, Saban and the Tide bent Clemson over and gave it to them. Hard. Rough. Just the way Saban likes it.
  
• Pittsburgh: A Pitt team starts the season well-respected, people talk about the Wannstache being a great coach, they say this is the year. Pitt goes out and drops a home game to a MAC school. Bully for Bowling Green, yawn for Pitt as this was so predictable it was funny.
  
• Virginia Tech: Beaten at their own game. The Football Gods giveth special teams TDs, and the Football Gods taketh away. But seriously, this team is bad. Exceptionally bad beyond even our wildest ideas about the possibility of them being bad.
  

Helmet Stickers:
Kellen Lewis, QB, Indiana: 17-27, 144 yds, 2 TD and 185 yds and 2 TD on 9 rushing attempts in a 31-13 W versus Western Kentucky

Mark Sanchez, QB, USC: 26-35, 338 yds, 3 TD in a 52-7 W versus Virginia

Shun White, RB, Naval Academy: 19 carries, 348 yards, 3 TD in a W versus Towson