Wednesday, December 17, 2008

OTP Consultants in the Service of Tom Collins

Apparently, Ball State and athletic director Tom Collins sit in a holding pattern while Stan Parrish decides between San Diego, Muncie, or retirement. We here at OverThePylon are happy to help Tom out, and as such, have compiled our own list of candidates should the thumb twiddling grow tiresome and Collins decides to actually consider maybe potentially hiring someone. Our ideal candidates, with our value candidates coming soon...


Stan Parrish
Experience: Head coaching experience at Wabash, Marshall, and Kansas State. OC at Ball State, QB Coach at Michigan and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Last Seen: In the pressbox at Scheumann Stadium being the Cardinals Offensive Coordinator
Salary Demands (out of 5): $$ Parrish can go from an underpaid assistant to an underpaid headcoach.
Pros: Knows the offense, knows the players. Good chance at continuity beyond this year. Has head coaching experience, an NFL background, and lands players in the pros.
Cons: Age is a factor, as is potential retirement in the very near future. Has an offer to join Brady Hoke on staff at SDSU. Isn't the world's most energetic fella, may struggle with the demands of booster asskissing and administrative kowtowing.
Would He Take The Job: I have to believe he would, if offered. His wife is in nearby Ann Arbor and the program at BSU is one he built over the last 6 years.


Bernie Parmalee
Experience: BSU running back, NFL running back, Miami Dolphins special teams and tight end coach, Notre Dame tight end coach
Last Seen: In South Bend, IN coaching the tight ends on staff for Charlie Weis
Salary Demands: $$$$ In what would most assuredly be a paycut, Parmalee would have to jump from one of the highest paid assistant coaching staffs in all of football for the head coaching job at BSU
Pros: Alumni of the school, NFL experience, NFL coaching experience and contacts, strong resume of landing players in the pros at the positions he coached
Cons: No head coaching experience, no coordinator experience, nowhere near the same level of institutional support at BSU that is at ND. Just watched an alum get shat on publicly by the admin at BSU.
Would He Take the Job: Longshot, but not impossible. Allegiances run deep for your alma mater and Parmalee's resume is similar, though not as lengthy, as Brady Hoke when he took over.


Chuck Martin
Experience: Eastern Michigan linebackers coach, Grand Valley State head coach
Last Seen: Compiling a 61-5 record at GVSU and two national DII titles
Salary Demands: $$$ Martin currently makes $150k and that will need to be significantly improved.
Pros: MAC experience. Watched Brian Kelly leave GVSU to go to CMU and that worked well for Kelly. Has said in numerous interviews that the right offer monetarily and he will leave. Was a finalist for the NIU job search that ended up with Jerry Kill. The guy is a consistent winner, proven entity, and can boast the second highest consecutive win streak at any level of college football at 40 games.
Cons: No 1-A head coaching experience
Would He Take the Job: Hard to say. Martin has a strong connection and a proven winner with GVSU, despite its status and division. Unsure if BSU could afford to double his salary or higher, which is what it may take for him to leave.


Mike Neu
Experience: BSU QB, Arena football league QB, Arena Football League head coach
Last Seen: Getting canned from the New Orleans VooDoo of the AFL
Salary Demands: $$ Neu, despite being a professional coach in the AFL now simply needs a job. Regardless of how much he used to make, zero is pretty small.
Pros: Ball State connection, still some name recognition around the area. Boosters and alums will remember Neu, and he has the ability to have good rapport with the media and fans. A poor man's Jim Harbaugh if you will.
Cons: Exclusive experience as an AFL coach.
Would He Take the Job: Hard to say, though I don't see a lot of teams, college or otherwise, tripping over themselves to get to New Orleans.


Tommy Tuberville
Experience: Assistant Coach at Miami, defensive coordinator at Texas A&M, head coach at Ole Miss and Auburn
Last Seen: Being forced out by idiots boosters amidst a swirl of controversy at Auburn. Current wherabouts unknown.
Salary Demands: $$$$$+ Currently riding the soft cushion of a $5.1 million buyout from Auburn faithful.
Pros: Significantly less booster involvement than at Auburn. Wife's an alum of BSU. Less pressure, less stress, chance to prove he is a winner, as his 110-60 head coaching record would seem to indicate.
Cons: Almost exclusive experience in the south and plains states. Definite step down in money, prestige, power, and influence.
Would He Take the Job: Extreme extreme longshot. As in, should this happen I would be totally floored. Ecstatic. But totally floored.

We'll be along shortly with our value candidates and then make our recommendations to the Search Team.

6 comments:

Brew said...

AHHHHH AHAHAHA

Have we really gotten to the point where we're considering a "A poor man's Jim Harbaugh" with AFL experience for the head coaching job?!?!?!?!?! WOOOOOOWWW

Although that's about as ridiculous as Tommy Tubberville....

RV said...

Brewer, what point were we at before?

I think we've gotten to a good point, albeit difficult time, for Ball State football.

GrossSuperman said...

Greg Robinson
Experience: Head Coaching Experience at Syracuse. DC at Texas. DC with Kansas City Chiefs and Denver Broncos.
Last Seen: Loading a U-Haul outside his home in Manlius, NY.
Salary Demands: $$ Robinson can go from collecting money at the unemployment office to being an underpaid head coach.
Pros:BCS Conference experience. Is an excellent motivator and is adept at confusing the media with Gregisms.
Cons: Is adept at losing to MAC East teams. Possibly has an opportunity to join the staff at LSU in a coordinator role.
Would he take the job: Yes. Greggers wants to be a head coach.

Alan said...

We have no desire for your Greg Robinson turd in our pretty little Cardinal Punchbowl. But thanks.

Anonymous said...

This is all obviously moot now, but Neu wasn't exactly fired from the New Orleans AFL franchise. His team kinda FOLDED because New Orleans has half the population it did when he was hired, and those who have returned barely have enough scratch left after rebuilding their shattered lives and shattered city to support the Saints, much less a third-tier minor league sport like AFL...

Neu's teams had much huevos in that league, though. I'd love to see him get a shot as OC under Parrish. The Cards would be playing fucking pinball next year on offense, Nate Davis or no.

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