Tuesday, March 31, 2009

That's a Lovely Freak You Have There, Army

With the fall date at West Point looming for the Ball State Cardinals it's never to early to look at the impact players on Army's roster. Enter one Ali Villanueva, a former offensive linemen converted to wideout who is 6' 10". According to Army, Ali runs a 4.8 and weighs 286. Jared Lorenzen scoffs at his lack of commitment to go from "humorously oversized" to "freaktastically gargantuan".

This doesn't bode well for opposing DBs if this giant has any semblance of hands. But knowing Army, he doesn't, so no need to panic. Assuming this whole football thing doesn't work out for him, he at least will graduate from the United States Military Academy. And God help our national defense budget if we have to start somehow figuring out how to camouflage 6'10" monsters in the middle of the desert. We had best start looking for tall camels with Pamela Anderson sized humps for him to stand behind.

(HT to Orson at EDSBS)


Anonymous said...

That's a huge bitch!

[/Deuce Bigelow]

RV said...

Candygram for Mongo!